Handmade !

Tadaaaaaa ! Handmade by me.. :)

Not so perfect, yeah, i know. you don't have to tell me. But it's enough to make me smile.. haha.

Every year aku belajar benda ni, x dapat-dapat. akhirnya.. akhirnyaaaa! tahun ni aku berjaya ! xD hahaha. eh, Alhamdulillah..:) hee..

#TheLightOfPeace

Welcome To The Reality

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful…

Ehem. No matter what , I still have to further my study. Yeah, finally kan. =_=’  

so yeah, Welcome to the reality. This is the real life. Rasa macam mimpi. Sekarang baru lah rasa sendiri macam mana study jauh –jauh. Walaupun sebenarnya bukan lahh jauh sgt. 

Masa mula-mula ditinggalkan sendirian di tempat study ni, i was thinking, macam mana lah aku mau survive ni. Nanti semua benda aku mesti buat sendiri. Boleh ka ? 

Then aku teringat,, Dulu…bila tengok abang sendiri study  jauh-jauh,hati x sabar-sabar mau study jauh-jauh jugak. Sekarang bila rasa sendiri rasa menyesal..amat. sangat. Ahh. Kalau la boleh putar masa,..

Ditambah lagi dengan study benda yang aku x berapa nak minat, sangat menyeksakan diri. Rasa macam ,, merana nyaa~ but I don’t have a choice.

So, everything was different from what I’ve thought before. Totally different !

Dulu I  thought bila sambung study, dapat elauns, boleh lah berfoya-foya beli apa yang aku suka. But the reality is, belum sempat beli apa yang kita suka, duit habis. Beli keperluan yang lebih penting..  *sigh

Dulu I thought bila sambung study, boleh laa tidur awal then bangun lambat sebab bukan budak sekolah lagi kan. But the reality is, lagi  teruk! I have to stay up to 1 or  2 am and wake up in the early morning.

Dulu I thought bila sambung study, boleh laa dapat kawan banyak-banyak, but the reality is sangat la susah untuk carik kawan yang betul-betul kau boleh gelar ‘kawan’. Mostly selfish! I even dipergunakan kadang-kadang. *sigh again.

Dulu I thought bila sambung study my life will be wonderful. Enjoy. Happy. But the reality is, my life become BORING. T_T  Seriously, Boring !

Kadang-kadang memang rasa penat ,x mau sambung belajar lagi. Bukan kadang-kadang, should be ‘selalu’. Rasa macam mau kahwin, duduk rumah, jadi mem besar, habiskan duit husband. Ahh. Heaven. Haha. Ok apa kahwin muda. Hee. *gatal  Masalahnya, tiada orang yang mau.. Tiada orang mau dengan x laku is different okey! I repeat it, different ! hee

But…When i think again, I was like yeah, thinks happen for a reason kan ?  Walaupun banyak benda yang x berapa nak best,banyak dugaan-dugaan yang I have to get trough alone but  at least I learn something.  Aku belajar jadi lebih disiplin, lebih berdikari and most important, I become more stronger, day by day. :’) 

Aku belajar menjadi lebih matang daripada pengalaman.

So that’s why people always said that sometimes reality is not like what you’ve  thought. Kita boleh bayangkan apa saja, tapi jangan terlalu berharap sebab apa yang kita bayangkan kadangkala jauh beza dengan realiti yang sebenarnya. That time , kita jugak yang akan kecewa.

So, now sedang cuti beraya. Tiba-tiba datang idea.  Macam mana  kalau aku x payah balik sana semula. I’ve done it  for twice before. So, why not this time? Haha. xD 

Ok fine. Angan-angan. The reality is , aku x boleh buat macam tu. =_=’  Tiket mahal !

p/s: Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin Buat Semua Muslimin Dan Muslimat. :')

#TheLightOfPeace

Labuan Matriculation College , a bless or a curse ?

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful…

1 week left, before I go to Labuan’s Matriculation College. I didn’t feel happy or excited. To be honest, I am quite disappointed that I didn’t got any offer in foundation from any university.( Except from UNISEL ) I was a lil’ jealous too when some of people from other school that have a lower result than me got the offer. Really makes me down ! is this what my mum feel when I didn’t get the ‘Maktab’ offer ? huh..

But then, when I think ‘bout it again, I was like, hmm, ngam la bha. My result pun didn’t good enough. That’s why I didn’t get any offer , maybe. Lagipun, dapat offer matriks nih pun kira ok la. Patut syukur kan. Even rasa disappointed tu belum hilang sepenuhnya, I try to comfort myself that things happen for a reason. So I have to ‘redha’. Ini ketentuan-Nya kan. Maybe He already plan somethings good for me. insyaAllah.

So, l already started prepared all the things, and settled what I have to. Even when I’m not excited at all. And, as always, my beloved umi la yang bersusah-payah, bertungkus-lumus membantu menyiapkan segala persiapan aku. Aba, macam selalu la. Macam x kisah seja. But I know, he do care. He just didn’t want to show it. Ah. Sedih pulak, L lepas ni susa suda mau manja-manja dengan umi. X bole suda jaga umi, tengok-tengok umi. I know I am not a good daughter for her, but trust me I love her more than she can imagine !

I am touched  when umi said that she already felt sad even I still have 1 week more before go to the Matriks. Kunun umi terbayang-bayang macamana la hidup aku disana. Aku masih di rumah, umi suda cakap gitu, kalau suda masuk sana?  Teringat satu ceramah hari tu, penceramah tu cakap, bila ibu kita rindu kita pun, sudah menjadi dosa untuk kita. Even kita x sengaja.Then umi terus pesan supaya aku selalu call.   Hee.  InsyaAllah. I will, love . J

Sekarang hari-hari la aku bukak internet, bukak blog orang untuk carik maklumat macamana life disana nanti. Setakat ni, kira macam masih boleh terima lagi la. Melalui cerita-cerita ex-student, I guess it’s not that bad. Cuma memang mesti rajin la, x bole main-main. Everything suda settle. Tapi hati belum lagi bulat dan tekad mau pegi sana. Pendek kata, memang tiada hati la. Kadang-kadang berharap, bagusnya kalau masa-masa sekarang ni, tiba-tiba ada miracle, kunun-kunun dapat offer pgi tempat lain ka, kan bagus. Sebab aku masih x tau,  Labuan Matriculation College  is a bless or a curse to me. *sigh*

#TheLightOfPeace

Things Happens For A Reason

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful…

Believing that things happen for a reason has never disappointing me. It makes me strong when the sadness come to me, just like what had happen yesterday.

You know, my mum was hoping me to further my studies at the Teacher’s Institute or well known as ‘Maktab’ among Malaysian. Even I have told her many times that I didn’t have any interest to be a teacher but still, she told me to apply it. And as a daughter, do I have a choice? So, yesterday was the day where the institute announced the name those who they would called for an interview. And believe it or not, my name was not listed among those people. I was a lil’ bit surprised. As what I had expected, my mum was very very very disappointed when she knew the result. She should felt that way I guess. 

She put a high expectations that I will be call for an interview and able to further my study at the institute. She even always prays for that. So, I’m pretty sure that she was in a superb disappointed.  How about me? Well, to be honest I didn’t know what I should feel, and how should I react .  I didn’t think that I was sad for not being chosen to the interview, but I was only disappointed when I saw how disappointed my mum was. But I keep deny it when she ask me. That will be better I guess. I told her, maybe Allah have plan a better things for me. And maybe it will be better than this. Like what I always do before, I keep telling myself that things happen for a reason.

So then, I try to throw away that entire uneasy feel 'cause I also have a Nasyid’s Competition last night (singing competition). That is my first experience. You know what, I have never ever sing even in front of my family but I now joined the group and sing in front of lots of people. Don't know where all of those courage come from. But, everything was run smoothly. We perform well. I tried to give my best. And I was surprised when our group was announced as the winner. Oh. Alhamdulillah ~ I was so grateful.

Then, when I'm home, I was thinking, maybe this is the reason. Allah didn’t give me the chance to have the interview but He gives me the chance to win the competition. At least, I can help the Muslim’s teen to always remembering Allah. Most important, He pay the sadness with a happiness in a day. What a perfect day i have, right? 

p/s: always believe that things happens for a reason..:)

LIFE

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful…

Salam.

Yeah. What a long time, since my last entry . haha. I know it. I was too busy enjoying my life. xD  and also, who’s care about my blog right ? Bukan ada yang baca pun. =_=’   So,this kind of thought la yang membuatkan aku malas mau taip-taip. But still, I will update my journey life in this so-called ‘unprivate diary’.  So that, later, in the future, my kids boleh baca how their mum run her life masa muda-muda dulu. Haha ! ayat solehah atau ayat gedik ni ? =_=’

So, lepas kerja beberapa bulan , the exam’s result have been announced. And Alhamdulillah, Thanks To Allah. Aku puas hati . The results are not too excellent, but also not too bad I guess. It just suit with all the effort that I have done.  Penyesalan sebab dulu x belajar betul-betul memang ada laa.. tapi aku redha. Lepas dapat result exam, I decided to resign my job. Ingin menghabiskan masa dengan bermalas-malasan pulak. Bila lagi kan ? =_=’  So, bermula la episod aku menjadi suri rumah sepenuh masa tanpa gaji. Buat kerja yang sama hari-hari. Berusaha untuk berbakti. Sementara masih ada hari. Sebelum masuk IPT.  xD

Ok. Enough with the results and resignation.

Now aku sangat la busy dengan buat something new , something different, and something yang dulunya aku memang x mau buat. Contohnya ? err, x da contoh ! kau just bayangkan la, apa benda yang selama ni kau malu buat, then tiba-tiba kau buat infront of people. I mean ‘hundreds of people. =_=’  At first, aku rasa semua ni macam kind of ‘kerja gila’. But, lama-lama aku rasa macam, ‘hey! You know what ? I enjoying doing this!’. Haha. Just like that. I just realized, sebenarnya, trying something new tu memang best ! :D  kenapa la sekarang baru sedar. =_=’              

Other than that, sekarang aku masih  tunggu tawaran yang best-best untuk further study. Semoga Allah permudahkan untuk aku. Aminnn~

p/s: Sepanjang tempoh ‘bermalas-malasan’ ni, bila ingat-ingat semula, aku sedar one thing. After exam hari tu, everything that  happens in my life were run smoothly. Even ada some of thing yang didn’t happen as my plan, tapi everything goes well. Alhamdulillah~ Ya Rabb ! Thanks ! I am so grateful ! 

Nothing Can Be Proud Of

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful…

So, in the past two weeks i was very busy. I even have no time for 'rejoicing'.  Sometimes i feel so stress without any reason. I don't know why and what for.=_=' Yeah. Silly.
Other than learn how to knitting, and cooking,nothing other interesting happens to me. Yeah, it was pathetic. Nothing can be proud of. The most pathetic is, i still don't know my 'way'. I mean the career that i should choose.I have surf and read A LOT about it but still, i can't decide...it is not help me out, in fact, it makes me more confuse...*sigh* =_=

SOMETIMES, 'TOMORROW' WITHOUT ANY PLAN WILL BE AWESOME.

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful…


Sometimes I feel like a cartoon. Yeah, my life was in a chaos right now. Just like when Jerry was tried to save itself from Tom. =_=’  Yes. I admit it, I am now living with ‘no plan'. At night,  go to the bed without thinking what will happen tomorrow. I just ‘wait and see’. The consequence is, when the morning come, I will always get a 'surprise' just like what had happens today.

I was still in my dream, being a Princess maybe. =_='  Suddenly I was awaked by the extra loud knock on the door, continuously, without showing any mercy to the snow white that is sleeping tightly in the room. Haihh ~ I'll put on the door bell at my room tomorrow!

As I open the door, I was directly shoot by my lovely mom.=_='  "Get ready now, you will work at the school’s canteen '... I was like, .... eh? We never discuss about working at the school canteen. After successfully removing my ‘mamai’, I quickly get ready.  Huh. This time, I will work at the school’s canteen? My ex primary school. Fine. Good then. =_='

I think everything will be so boring. But I was wrong! It was really, really awesome! I even cannot stop laugh! There were 4 employees at the school canteen included me.  Kas, Wan, and Nur. Nur  was a little bit shy, but the two others were really ‘crazy head’ and funny too. Err, maybe superb funny.  I am happy to know them. They treat me just like we have known for a long time and that makes me did not feel awkward at all..

And starting from today, I, automatically have a lot of brothers and sisters, hundreds ! ‘cause all the students there call me sis..=_=' Yeah, I know, they do the right thing, but honestly it did not make me feel pleased at all. It makes me feel that I was older than them. Err, am I? =_=’

First day that was awesome for me. I can work and fulfill my responsibility to Him without any obstacles ...It is a happy feeling. . But I got a problem, it seems like the mission to lose my weight cannot be implemented due to this work. Because we are allowed to eat as we pleased! What can i do.

Ouhhh,, when cats see the fresh fish in front of their eyes, will they just only going to look at it ? xD

p / s:  Sometimes, not planning what we want to do tomorrow, can make us more happy than yesterday ! Try it ..;)


#TheLightOfPeace

First AND Last ??

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful…

First day kerja, hmm, not bad at all. Kerja di area baju baby dan budak kecik membuatkan aku selalu dikunjungi budak yang comel-comel.Tiada yang menarik kecuali seorang pakcik yang datang pusing-pusing kedai dan lastly tanya aku, ‘ dik, beg yang ada troli di mana ? ’ aku macam *erk?!

mungkin dia maksudkan beg yang ada roda , aku pun tunjuk la beg roda.. ya aku tau, pakcik tuh comel kan.

Juga seorang lelaki yang aku memang yakin lagi tuaaa dari aku. Ya aku ulangi, lagi tua dari aku , dengan selambanya panggil aku kakak walaupun aku nih terang2 lagi ehem,,comel dari dia.
Hal ini berlaku disebabkan isterinya yang sebaya aku sedang berdiri di sebelah dia sambil dukung baby diorang dengan jelingan kurang senang kepada aku. Takut la tuh. Haha . aku macam nak sound ‘' kak, aku x selera la nak ngorat laki kau ! tapi kalau anak kau aku fikir 2,3 kali jugak laa..'’ haha.

Penat memang penat. Standard la kan. Mana ada kerja x penat. Kau merompak pun penat. Lari2. Tapi kerja tu best la, Staff pun ok..but u know what ? aku suda resign. Ya . aku ulangi, aku suda Resign. Mesti kau terkejut kan? Tolonglah cakap kau terkejut. Semua orang pun pening gara-gara aku. Hari first kerja suda resign.. Then, do u think i care ? Hee ~

Aku stop bukan sebab x tahan atau penat atau whatsoever. Cuma kerja ni dari pagi sampai malam. Rest pun cuma dua jam. Membuatkan aku tidak dapat menunaikan tanggungjawab lain yang lebih penting. Dan dengan bangganya semalam jugak lepas kerja , aku resign. Yeah ! macam tau-tau yang aku berat hati kerja situ.haha.

Kita kerja untuk cari rezeki yang halal. Tapi kalau kita kerja separuh mati sampai lupakan Dia yang memberi rezeki, apa guna kan ? adakah berkat kerja tuh ? Fikir-fikir kan ~

#TheLightOfPeace

Don't let the 'shy' GONE

Dua jam. Ya .dua jam sebelum flight aku sudah tercongok di airport semata-mata nak hantar abg aku blik ipg. Huh~  takut sgt dia xdpt balik\..sgt membuang masa aku yg amat berharga yg boleh dimanfaatkan untuk tidur dan makan ! 

what? x senonoh? then, do i care ?

Dua jam aku habiskan dengan duduk sambil ditemani mp4 sambil memerhatikan ragam manusia sambil keluar masuk toilet sambil pura2 texting.

so, overall there , the thing yang menarik minat aku adalah ‘malu’. Bila tengok manusia-manusia sekarang, baru aku sedar yang manusia sekarang semakin kurang rasa malu.  I repeat it, baru aku sedar. =_='

Kau percaya kah kalau aku cakap semua masalah sosial yang jadi sekarang adalah disebabkan malu yang semakin menipis dalam diri manusia ? x percaya ?  atau xmau mengaku !

Contohnya, dari segi berpakaian. Kau rasa kenapa perempuan2 gedik sekarang ni  rilek s.a.h.a.j.a pakai baju seksi2, ketat2? Sampai diaphgram diorang x dapat berfungsi dgn betul.Sampai menjolok mata, dan hampir2 membutakan mata kaum adam sebab hari2 keluar darah.. Sebab diorang mmg x malu dah.  Tak Malu pada Pencipta, Tak Malu sesama manusia. Bila perasaan malu tiada, mereka akan fikir, then whats the problem nak guna baju yang ‘jimat’ kain kan? Nak malu pada siapa . It is.

Kenapa malu tuh bole hilang ? As for me, aku rasa ia hilang disebabkan pergaulan. Bila pergaulan kau terlalu bebas, kau akan terbiasa, then benda tu akan jadi benda yang biasa, kau x malu nak buat even depan orang yang kau tak kenal. Macam kau baru pakai spectacles laa,mula2 malu, lama2, biasa ! xpun masa kau baru masuk Form 1, mula2 masuk sekolah, bajet pendiam, ayu, macho, sebab malu tunjuk belang, lama2? Biasa ! Ya ! Kau la !

Kalau dulu2, perempuan, lalu sebelah lelaki pun hati , jantung, pancrease, semua rasa macam jatuh luluh already.Trachea jadi lembik selembik-lembiknya. Rasa macam mau ltak muka bawah ketiak mak . Sebab orang dulu2 mana ada senang2 lelaki dgn perempuan bergaul bebas. Thats why rasa malu itu masih menebal dalam diri.

But now ? Yah, u can see, kalau aku bagi dua lorong untuk sampai ke destinasi yang sama, lorong A ada lelaki, lorong B xda lelaki, i bet , mostly, the girl akan pick lorong A untuk lalu. Sebab? Mungkin kau ada jawapannya kan . Tak perlu lah aku buang tenaga bagitau.

Sekarang pun masih ada yang macam dulu2  tapi mungkin s.i.k.i.t bilangannya. Teringat aku ustaz aku , dia pernah bagitau, kalau kamu nak tau perempuan tu baik ke tidak, tengok pada malunya. Kalau dia malu bila berhadapan dengan lelaki, malu bila bercakap hal yang sensetif atau peribadi, dan malu bila buat benda2 yang x berfaedah, then, she is a good girl. Tapi kalau sebaliknya, then she is not a good one.

See? Ada bezanya. 

Dan aku sangat sakit hati bila perempuan sdg malu dan lelaki sebok kutuk2 dia sebab pemalu sgt !  What the ?! Tolong laa ! Bukak mata luas2 ! Malu itu separuh daripada iman. Kalau malu itu masih berpada, buat apa kita hilangkan malu itu ?

As for me, malu itu maruah kita. Malu itu bole jaga diri kita. And it pictured ourself. Perempuan yang masih menebal rasa malunya, sgt sweet ! Tapi malu itu ada hadnya, jangan sampai memudaratkan diri sendiri. Orang tua2 cakap, biar bertempat. Orang muda2 cakap biar bertempat jugak. Kalau kau rasa masih ada malu dalam diri kau, bersyukurlah ! Dan peliharalah sebaiknya..Sebab, once it gone, you will not be able to get it back.

#TheLightOfPeace